lingering

So I'm up at 10AM. Woken up from the past two unproductive days, I decide to finally do my qt's. You know, sometimes I wonder if I am chosen. I'm reading the books of Daniel and Ephesians, and I just don't know. I hear testimonies from my good friends or even from Jesse who I met this weekend, and I just don't know. I guess it's wrong of me to wonder why God doesn't provide miracles or speak to me in the way that he does to others but I'm just at a complete loss. I have no direction. I don't know what he exactly wants me to do in Paris other than the general spread his word and be an example of Christ. I really don't know what to do with my future and what God wants me to do. I'm at a loss. I also feel like I get no insight whatsoever and my level of depth can be at such a minimum most of the time.