hope for change

Life in Paris has really been different. Not a bad different for sure. But the type of different that has been really exciting, foreign, and unimaginable...kind of like eating a new fruit. Ok, that was a really bad example. People in my program are really really into the whole electronic, underground music thing. I mean, the music is nice, but I've never been an expert about it. It's just that I'm not interested enough to invest all my time for music and then chat a storm about it. I love my classes abroad. Within 4 months I feel like I have become so much more cultured and knowledgeable about various subjects. Learning the history of Paris, art, or music has made my life more deep.

Anyways, there's serious stuff going on in Mumbai, India. I was reading all the information about it nonstop on cnn.com. Then I just started reading all the other awful stuff that's going on in the World. The war in Iraq, deadly floods in Brazil, brutal death beatings of a reporter in Arkansas... It's just heartbreaking. But you know, I was thinking, there's nothing that I can really do to help these people. I can give them my money, yes that I will do. I am planning on researching some type of nonprofit group according to my sentiments and sending them money every month. Anyways I am getting sidetracked again. I was watching Paris Hilton's My New Best Friend. It's my guilty pleasure, don't judge. Well they had this "challenge" to earn money for Paris's animal charity. They kept saying "omg I felt so good about myself. It was so rewarding." All I could think was, wow these people are idiots. Ok, not idiots but they're thinking is so shallow and conceited. As if earning about $20 changed everything. You know, there's still animals suffering even though money goes through that charity. The glory shouldn't go to you. But say I send about $100 to the kids in Africa. Yea, I'm sure some of that money gets sent to the kids over there after some dispersion into the "nonprofit" organization workers but what I do is not going to change their life. In fact, I shouldn't feel like I am such a great person because I am doing this "glorious" deed. It's only God that can change the lives and situations of these people. We should be so grateful that we are in this situation and not switched around with Africa. Superficial means of happiness into life have only always fallen through. We're unsatisfied no matter what situation we're in. You shouldn't act upon giving money to the poor because it's the right thing to do, if you pity them with all your heart, or because you'll feel better about yourself. It's because God has called you upon it and you're purpose is because you're grateful for what God has given you and giving it without any intentions of any worldly, human explanation. Ugh, I don't know if I explained my point. But this is what I believe.

I was watching videos about the first lady on cnn.com. YES I LOVE MICHELLE OBAMA. She is so inspiring. That woman is amazing. And I also love her because ...she's BLACK! which is kind of a stupid reason. If anything, I've never felt more asian in my life with comments like NIHO, KONICHIWA, WHAT ARE YOUR ORIGINS. If anything, I have some to the conclusion that white people in general are really ignorant and they've got it good. They have so much leverage in life just because they're white. But thank God that I live in the USA where it's somewhat better I guess. I hate controlling media. It's partly their fault why these Frenchies are so ignorant about America or other cultures in general. Back to my reason why I love Obama. The first black President well he's half white. But black women were hoping that through Michelle Obama that she would allow a breakthrough of the stereotypes of black females being loud, aggressive, and overweight. That's amazing. It's also awesome because Michelle Obama is skinny and dark skinned. Not like the typical famous black woman like Beyonce or Halle Berry who by the way is half white. It's partly the media's fault for all this. I effing hate them. Who them is I am not sure. Because of the media, French people think Americans are only blonde. They don't understand that Asian people live in America and that we must always be associated with our origins. Do you ask blonde American girls where their origins are??? like Germany, Ireland? No. I got so frustrated while watching cnn.com white reporter women talking about Michelle Obama. I just see ignorance in their faces. Ok, I have so much anger at white people. Their offensive nihos really get to me though. It's a slap across the face and I get it everyday (more than once).

I'm out. left bitter.