light blue

So today I think I had my first case of the post-graduate blues. Man, everything was going right but this past weekend it's like I got slammed in the face. I met up with John yesterday and we were talking about Alex. Honestly, I don't think highly of any guy on my high school group. I seriously think they lack compassion, ambition, ...a life. I think they're the type of people who exist to just exist. But I really don't have a right to claim what kind of life they live and tell John that that's the way it is - no questions asked. Then he told me I was condescending. I've never been called that so I was really shocked. Then he went on about how most successful, ambitious, smart people are rude and arrogant. When I got home what he said really hit me hard. Because my passion for dentistry is to ultimately help people, change people. I was confused and I was thinking, am I one of those people? Did I let my guard down? So I was evaluating what type of person I had become in the past 6 months. Then I realized that I have been so focused on my career that I haven't made time for friends. And in fact, I really didn't care for them. I used to think those people that gave up their friends and a life for school were driving themselves into a brick wall. Then I went to church today. But for some reason I felt really insecure and uncomfortable at the church. I felt like I was in my freshman year of college again when I was so indecisive and simply confused of which path to take. I was so insecure that I was overridden with awkwardness. Then I came home. I feel like crap. I'm going through the initial stage of the blues.